Our Secret to a strong Marriage Foundation
Hey loves, with one of the most popular pieces of content on my feed and blog…being Marriage. It’s only right that we give you a glimpse into our own.
Willie and I met while both worshipping together at church. A mutual friend actually introduced us and the rest is history. My loves, let me caution you about getting so caught up in what you think your life should look like. Because oftentimes those standards result in you settling. You are a kings kid and deserve the very best. Marriage is not a fairytale. But with the right partner you can have your happy ending.
Bear in mind that as a result of our marriage. We became a blended family of 6 girls and 2 sons. This season of our marriage required lots of patience, unconditional love, compromise and commitment. We both decided that this was not about us or the coparents but the children and their well being.
VERSES FOR MARRIAGE
Ephesians 5:22-27
Genesis 2:18
Matthew 19:4-6
Colossians 3:18
1 Peter 3:7
Hebrew 13:4
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Genesis 2:23-24
Isaiah 62:5
1 Corinthians 7:2-5
Whether you've been married for months, years, or decades, the learning process never ends, as is true with most things in life. You and your spouse are constantly learning about each other's evolving personalities, the small things that irk you, and how to best continue your life together. When the two of you tied the knot, you vowed to be there for each other, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, but sometimes it can be tricky to do that all day, every day, until death do you part. That's when these marriage Bible verses can come in very handy.
THE WHY
So why do statistics say that the majority of couples divorce after 5 years? Finances in general, are a source of contention in marriage. There should be no undiscussed finances in your marriage. Marriage is not a cure all despite the fact that oftentimes people make the leap to marriage without giving a great deal of thought about the person they’ll be living with for the rest of their lives. Marriage, and life, can be hard. If you feel like you are drowning, say something. Let your partner know. You and your spouse determine the type of marriage that you desire to have not either of your parents. Marriage requires both partners to be on the same page. Therefore religion and traditions are significant issues. Life can get in the way of marriage very easily, and everything from work to kids to outside commitments can lead to a very quick disconnect in married couples, especially in the early years. Just like anything else in life, if you want to keep your marriage from failing, you’d better have a plan, and it had better be one that you both agree on. Disagreements are part of any relationship, but choosing how to raise a family and run a household can reveal contradictory non-negotiables. Preventing divorce has a lot to do with dealing with the little things when they happen.
THE HOW
Marriage doesn't have to be hard…some game changers that didn’t just allow us to merely survive but to thrive in our marriage:
We continue to date each other.
We are intentional about prioritizing not only ourselves individually. But our marriage, and family as a whole.
We believe in accountability partners. But the key here is that they must have the same or similar values as you. Don’t find someone that will merely agree with you. This person needs to be ablate check you if necessary.
We study the word of God together. Because not only does it encourage us to grow individually but as a couple as well.
We recognize that marriage requires sacrifice and one of these sacrifices for us is to put each other first.
We prefer to not focus on the small stuff. Because in reality it doesn’t really matter as much as we thought.
MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU
Make the time and educational investment necessary for a healthy marriage. Realize that every situation doesn’t need to be fixed. Sometimes you just need to show up. Showing up includes being able to communicate that you may not know what you need at the time, but finding the opportunities to talk through these tough situations and be honest with your partner. Don’t forget about the friendship that was formed in the dating process. Let’s not ignore an opportunity to communicate our expectations, but we also can’t begin to act on those expectations not being met Keep in mind that we come from different backgrounds and expect different things and never communicate that to our partners. Women never let men know how crucial security is to us. We think men should know to provide, protect, etc., but it’s rarely discussed in detail. Men are being brought up in single parent households and have no examples of what it means to be that security. Allow room for flexibility and a plan for these to change. Finally, take your time getting to know and love yourself. Understand what you like and don’t like. Document how situations make you feel and if you are able to overcome them quickly or not. Talk your feelings out with your partner, friends or a therapist so you don’t internalize emotions. My advice to overcome this is to take your time getting to know and love yourself. Understand what you like and don’t like. Document how situations make you feel and if you are able to overcome them quickly or not. Talk your feelings out with your partner, friends or a therapist so you don’t internalize emotions. Then accept that you will change over time. What you like at 25 may not be what you like at 30 and that’s okay.
Our marriage is far from perfect. But, we are committed to each other and determined to allow our children to not only see but experience a healthy, whole black marriage.
I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit more about us. Please be sure to continue to check back and see what’s trending in Marriage Booth.
With Love & Grace,
Kangelia
